Blind social networking etiquette

Figure 1. Stranger = Danger (Unless of course he has candy or alcohol...)

The inevitable “OMG, I know someone who is perfect for you! I’ll get him to add you on FB and then you two can hook up!” conversation is always followed by the exceptionally difficult choice of how to respond/start contact with your new prospect… knowing full well that neither of you are familiar with one another and have been told to hook up by a fag-hag of choice. Thus, intentions are only to come right… I guess it’s not awkward till you make it awkward! Haha!

With FB’s multi-impersonal networking capabilities, this is not an easy choice!

Option number 1: The Poke

Impersonal.

Quick.

No real meaning other than annoying the heck out of the receiver and eventually cascading into a poke war...

Option 2: The Wall Post

Public.

Direct.

Unashamedly avant garde.

Open to direct scrutinisation by fellow FBers... (thus, open to judgement and public failure/humiliation upon rejection)

*It is advised that this option is avoided at all costs; in the same way that one avoids chess club or choir at school. Social suicide never was so easy as a rejected wall post on a potential strangers wall…*

Option 3: Personal Message

Ping u have mail!

Surprise (enough said).

Private. No chance of public humiliation or social suicide unless the prospect is to post to his notes and tag u and his other 824 friends (including his granny) in said note.

Allows for dignified retreat upon rejection.

Thus, this is the recommended option. And as an experienced goldfish hunter (being well-versed in the art of being hooked-up by many friends) I thoroughly advise this option.

Now, I’m sure you wonder why this debate has come about. Well, I got drunk (surprise) and then slept through my haircut, so had to arrange an emergency one at a new salon. The result, well, it is so hott rite now – Justin better watch out because sexy never left! Apart from that, I met some fabulous people who took utter delight in meeting me and decided I “just have(had) to meet their friend. He’s just as fabulous!” and thus, being as charitable and accepting as I am, I of course said yes! This has nothing to do with the fact than I’m easier than a KILF in a candy store…

Anyways, after much facecreeping through a vast quantity of his photos during work hours I am not upset about missing out on meeting this goldfish. He can swim free for now... I've got hotter fishies to fry!

Well, I did Option 3 and unfortunately to no result. His loss! Because Little Goldfish has got his BAM back!! Thus, Ladies (trannies and homosexuals included) gird your loins because DADDY’S got a brand new BAG!!

This weekends schedule:

Friday – Gay Fabulosity Party. Don’t ask, I don’t name these things…

Saturday – 3D party in Sandton followed by debauchery out and about on the town.

Sunday – SS!! And this promises to be one of the most debaucherous, morally reprehensible and socially unacceptable parties of the year/my life. It is my unofficial Johannesburg Farewell!! The start of many farewells to come within the next month and a half.

BAM! I’m back!